Auditor UGA Pet Peeves

[Karen Lane]

Number One Auditor Pet Peeves: (Editorial: "Pet Peeves" should NOT be taken as absolute rules as you will notice that 'personal preference' is a factor - though you will also notice commonalities that should at least be considered as you prepare.)

-singing when you can't - singing a song where you can't nail the money note
-Don't do Shakespeare if you haven't had training or extensive experience with it!  Please please please!!!!
-Break-up Monologues
-I will be performing the role of...no, you are performing a monologue not an entire role.
-bad or weak slate
-Failure to introduce themselves, and mumbling their audition pieces
-Not wearing shoes
-poor marketing materials
-actor monologues too long
-not reading the script before doing the audition and therefore not understanding what the piece is about
-One long piece is almost never as good as two short ones.
-focus off to one side
-Doing a 'stand-up' comic monologue.
-Singing and out of tune
-by William Shakespeare (duh)
-Distracting (noisy, ill-fitting, overly flashy) shoes and attire
-If you're not a trained singer, DON'T SING! Just because an accompaniest is provided doesn't mean it's to your best advantage to sing. Also, don't sing a cappella. Bring music or don't sing.
-Proper structure
-Don't sing if you are not a fabulous singer looking for work in musicals, it hurts your credibility as an actor.
-Dress as if you care about what you are doing.
-over time auditions (an apparent length of over 15 seconds past criteria)
-Don't perform something you wrote
-Shakespere is ineffective for short auditions like these.
-choosing anger as an emotional wash
-silly noises
-pieces not appropriate for the person
-resume that is not attached to headshot and is of a different size
-Introducing while they are walking up to center stage
-Not being prepared

Number Two:
-going over time - time your piece
-Coming unprepared...don't pick up a monologue book 3 days before the auditions and hope you can pull it together.
-Sitting on the floor (bad energy and sightlines)
-Skirts that are too short; heels that are too high.  Wear clothing in which you can move gracefully and which shows your general figure without drawing undue attention to it.
-mis-constructed resume
-Delivering their monologs to the wings instead of the audience
-Doing 'handcuffed' or 'tied hands' peices
-neglect of physical and vocal delivery
-addressing monologues to invisible characters off to the sides
-It's about you not the piece, so you don't need the whole speech.
-poor selection
-Sitting throughout the entire audition.
-No depth in the character in the monologue
-addressing imaginary actors onstage
-Poorly designed resumes (too much information, not enough information, unreadable font, etc.)
-Choose pieces you might actually be cast as: correct age, type, etc. This is your chance to show yourself off to your best advantage- know yourself & your strengths realistically. Don't waste my time!
-too casual
-Please do not writhe on the floor touching yourself.
-It's a theatre audition give me a theatre resume.  I don't care about your films or commercials.
-attire
-Dress professionally
-not differentiating between two pieces
-clogs
-not timing and 'cutting it too close'
-Not speaking slowly and clearly when announcing pieces
-Speaking too fast to introduce their piece
-bad material choices

Number Three:
-staring at the floor the whole time
-If you're not sure if you can sing...DON'T SING!!!!
-NOT BEING SPECIFIC
-going obvertime
-Stapling their resume and headshot together backwards.
-Follow through
-not enough contrast between monologues
-mumbling through the intro of the pieces--even worse if it continues throughout the audition
-Vary your delivery - volume, pace, pitch, etc. - within each monologue.
-bad taste in clothing
-Moving without purpose or meaning.
-Pacing or the feet shuffle
-Dress appropriately, time your pieces, check resume for typos and present yourself professionally. It's a job interview; you want me to hire you! I'm looking for people who demonstrate that.
-adhearing to time limits
-Many of us prefer that you don't look AT us when you are performing but look PAST us so we do not feel obligated to be your scene partner
-Describing the scene of the monologue.  That is not going to make me believe you more.
-stop; say hello; your name; and center/plant before beginning
-Make sure your piece make sense on their own
-weak introduction
-not looking in a mirror at what they're wearing
-Monologues that are too detailed in gore
-Taking a big breath before they start
-not presenting themselves correctly - dressed, photo and resume not complete etc

[Maria Glanz]

Thank you for posting, Karen, and thank you Auditors for sharing your perspectives. It really is valuable information, and it's great you took the time to note these things down.

I must confess, however, that reading all of these items in order brings up a near obsessive urge in me to prepare an audition in which I sing an unaccompanied self-penned monologue (that I've written in iambic pentameter) while I writhe on the floor and make silly sounds and pound my clogs on the ground. Letting my underwear show the whole time.

Aaaahhh... that felt good to imagine. Maybe I'll actually do that as prep next time I audition.... in 2010 or 15 

[Karen Lane]

Oh Maria!!!! You just gave me the most enjoyable moment (in the office that is) in YEARS!! I can't wait to see this audition and I'm sure that every last auditor agrees with me. :-)
Karen

[Keith Dahlgren]

After skimming all of these suggestions, I keep finding inconsistencies.

Do I speak to an invisible person other than the auditors, or do I speak to the auditor?

Do I list the director of the play, or don't I?

What if I've timed my piece well, left an extra fifteen seconds, but because of auditor reaction, still went over time? Should I go over time if I had to hold for laughs? 

Should I wear something appropriate for the piece, or dress conservatively?

I realize that these are picky, but so are many of the suggestions of the auditors.  I've sat through hours of auditions, too, but I think my only real complaint would be don't go overlong.  A *good* director or casting person can see your potential (especially in what they are looking for) in the first few seconds, usually. And yes, have a good clear resume I can read.

Every other suggestion seems to be the reaction of people sitting through a lot of auditions in a hot room.  You know, rather, well, bitchy. Pet peeves, indeed.

[Theatre Puget Sound]

Keith, did you read my brief editorial comment? I don't disagree that there are many apparent 'discrepancies' in the lists. That is obviously unavoidable 'personal preference' creeping in and why the list should NOT be read as hard and fast RULES. I do believe, however, that there are some very strong commonalities and themes that actors would be wise to note from this list. I don't really think it is that hard to uncover those. This is also a list to consider specifically for this large general audition. While some suggestions may translate to all types of auditions, others will not.
Karen

[Karen Lane]

For what it's worth after having run 13 TPS UGA's now:

Do I speak to an invisible person other than the auditors, or do I speak to the auditor?
Two definite themes amongst these seemingly incongruent comments:
 1. An auditor does not care for being forced to be a scene partner.
 2. Do not select an invisible scene partner that is so far off to the side of the stage that the auditors never see your face.

Do I list the director of the play, or don't I?
1. It doesn't hurt those who don't care about it if the director is listed for those who do
2. The real point here is that auditors don't want an actor to list a director OVER listing the PRODUCING Company. If you can fit it all in a readable format - fine.

What if I've timed my piece well, left an extra fifteen seconds, but because of auditor reaction, still went over time? Should I go over time if I had to hold for laughs?
1. You won't be allowed to go over time.
2. Planning 'grace time' for serious or funny pieces is just plain wise. Timing in front of auditors is always unpredictable.
3. If you get 'cut off' because of Auditor response - trust me - the Auditors know and that is NOT what they are talking about when they suggest that folks do a better job of timing their pieces.
Should I wear something appropriate for the piece, or dress conservatively?
1. Not sure that 'conservative' is a helpful term.
2. Dress appropriately for YOU and consider the environment - this is mostly what all comments refer to by the auditors regardless of personal preference. IE - ANYTHING - conservative or otherwise that is going to distract the Auditors from you and your talent - don't do it. Particularly short short skirts and loud shoes on guys or gals.
I realize that these are picky, but so are many of the suggestions of the auditors.  I've sat through hours of auditions, too, but I think my only real complaint would be don't go overlong.  A *good* director or casting person can see your potential (especially in what they are looking for) in the first few seconds, usually. And yes, have a good clear resume I can read.
Yeah - some/many of these things are picky. But for this audition in this environment - it is simply good practice to be 'mindful' of these things. What is most useful here is that you now have a chance to evaluate and 'consciously' choose your approach rather than accidentally falling in to one of these never knowing that it might not be in your best interest.

[Dorothy Lemoult]

Wow.... awesome Karen !

Now shall, we have an actor review of what auditors shouldn't do in an audition ?

I am half kidding. 

[Theatre Puget Sound]

Dorothy! I think that's a grand idea. Have at it. 
Karen

[Joseph E Boling]

If you have a set of pieces that total 1:45, there is NO way that you are going to go over 2:00 because of audience reaction. Fifteen seconds is a long time.

[Keith Dahlgren]

Joe:
Happened to me.  I had two pieces timed down to 1:45, rushed through the laughs, and still got called on time.  No big deal.  As Karen said:

"If you get 'cut off' because of Auditor response - trust me - the Auditors know and that is NOT what they are talking about when they suggest that folks do a better job of timing their pieces."

Karen:
Yes, of course I read your editorial comment.  I was really just responding to the attitude of the auditor responses (hence my equally bitchy 'tude.) I guess as an auditor myself (yes, not at the UGAs, but elsewhere), I give the auditioners a lot more leeway.  Admittedly, a lot of people make *large* errors, and these can turn off an auditor.  But there's also the chance that there's a spark in that person who dresses oddly, lies on the floor, does a piece they've written themselves (or one you've heard over and over...*that* seems miniscule), and if you miss it, well, who's not doing their job? I put down most of the bitchy comments to inherent bitchiness and sitting on one's heinie for long stretches, watching audition after audition.

And yes, there are a lot of things in that list that apply to most of us in one way or another. I don't really agree with some of them...but I've already taken a look at my own resume and my own audition technique with some in mind.  I hate auditioning.

Which brings me to:  Dorothy:
I don't know about the UGAs (yes, I need to audit them, I guess), but elsewhere I have auditioned brings me to these thoughts:

Auditors:
DON'T cough and shift and hack and blow your noise during an audition.
DON'T chat with your SM so loudly the actor can hear you, especially if he or she is trying to perform.
DON'T send your SM out for coffee during an audition.
DON'T stay in the dark house and speak like you're some sort of God voice.  Greet your auditioners.
DON'T shout things at them during their monologue.
DON'T make rude comments to the actors about their choice of monologues, their dress, their headshot, their haircut.  If you must be a teacher, do it politely and constructively.
(All personal experiences...others?  We had a thread on this once.)

DO make the actor feel at their ease.  You'll get a better audition.
DO cut them off politely.  Yes, actors need to learn to make shorter audition pieces.  We all know that.  No need to slam the door in their faces.
DO thank them.  Let's face it, despite the fact that this is an actor's profession, and they must learn to do it as part of their job, auditioning is never easy. I have met many people who can do it without too much emotional struggle, but I have yet to meet an actor who likes to do it, really.
DO be patient.  Yes, the actor must be professional, but so must the auditor.
(Others?)

It goes without saying that the above is my Humble Opinion Only.  I know other directors feel the need to be harsh and abrupt (or 'businesslike'.)  It teaches those darn childlike actors to grow up. Knock 'em down a peg.

[Karen Lane]

Yes, of course I read your editorial comment.  I was really just responding to the attitude of the auditor responses (hence my equally bitchy 'tude.) I guess as an auditor myself (yes, not at the UGAs, but elsewhere), I give the auditioners a lot more leeway.  Admittedly, a lot of people make *large* errors, and these can turn off an auditor.  But there's also the chance that there's a spark in that person who dresses oddly, lies on the floor, does a piece they've written themselves (or one you've heard over and over...*that* seems miniscule), and if you miss it, well, who's not doing their job? I put down most of the bitchy comments to inherent bitchiness and sitting on one's heinie for long stretches, watching audition after audition.

And yes, there are a lot of things in that list that apply to most of us in one way or another. I don't really agree with some of them...but I've already taken a look at my own resume and my own audition technique with some in mind.  I hate auditioning.

Keith - there are a couple of uber-themes in your response to me that are very important and that I agree with.
1. Each audition has its own unique environment and an actor increases their chances of success by being aware of that environment. There is a difference of what an actor can reasonably expect of an Auditor between an audition setting where he/she may see 20 - 30 actors in a day vs. 100. Not saying it is perfect - just saying it is wise to aknowledge this difference in your preparation.
2. The point in all of this is: Be Intentional in ALL of your choices - if you or anyone else has intentionally, for whatever reason, 'performed' some of these pet peeves - more power to you if it is working for you. You state that you have already looked at your resume and audition technique with some of these things in mind - that's great and really the point of posting any of this data for all to see - so that they can do the same.

If some folks think back on their audition and realize that they UNintentionally fell in to one of the 'pet peeve' categories - that is cause for concern - not because they are Golden Rules - but because it was UNintentional.

Humbly - Karen

[Machelle Allman]

...and is it too much to ask that an auditor look at the performance being given?  I've often felt that I had just done a voiceover audition because the director never once looked up.  I know this from my peripheral vision, being focused PAST my auditor.  
Given the emphasis here on overlong auditions, I wonder now if the auditors are settling in and plan to look up at a minute and a half, or two minutes...so by the time I finish my :30 or :45, ya missed it!  
I wonder if that's why actors give the long auditions--we percieve that it takes that long to get someone's attention...

Besides, it's just polite.  

[Mark Jared Zufelt]

Fascinating UGA threads, one and all.  I could spend hours writing about each one (if it weren't for this damn job I'm supposed to be doing).  But I will contribute two (maybe three) quick thoughts...

1) It seems like many of the directors' pet peeves are about standing on formality.  As a director myself, I say, who cares?  I take real issue with someone telling folks they cannot use a Shakespearean monolgue if they don't have the proper training or experience.  As an auditor, I am the actor's advocate.  I am there to see if they have a spark, something burning inside them that, teamed with my support and guidance, can translate into a great performance.  To tell them to avoid Shakespeare until they've mastered it is to tell them not to audition at all until they've landed a leading role at (insert LORT theatre of your choice here).  I'm afraid too many directors don't really like actors, but rather see them as cogs in the director's machine.  That sucks!  

(Not so) quick story - In grad school, I auditioned a freshman who had the audacity  to do Juliet's overused balcony speech (and not do it particularly well).  Every other auditor quickly passed her over (and a few gave me flack for wasting time when I stopped to work with her).  I ended up casting her in a small role and employed her services several more times in leading roles throughout my grad school career.  Now, she's about to finish her first year in the graduate acting program at Yale after turning down a roles at LORT theates across the country.  Acting gems are to found everywhere, if we, as directors, are couragous enough to get a little dirty.  And Shakespeare (or any material, for that matter) is not out.  But doing material you don't feel connected to, or passionate about, or understand is out.  (And brown, as I understand it, is the new black   )  That said, I would love to see more folks doing Moliere for their classical pieces - look at all of Richard Wilbur's translations.

and 2) as for directors' ettiquette, I defer to the words of my mentor, Jon Jory - which I am reprinting without his permission, in hope that one or four of you will go out and buy his books, TIPS FOR DIRECTORS and TIPS FOR ACTORS 1 and 2 - all three of which are written with a great deal of humor and insight.  They will shave a number of wasted years off your career by warning you of mistakes that you don't need to make (but probably will).  Enjoy:

AUDITION ETHICS (for the director)

1.  You, the director, should be on time.

2.  You should be decently dressed in clean clothes as a mark of respect to the actors.

3.  You should be polite, empathetic, and in no way misuse the power of your position.

4.  You shouldn't spend a lot of time during the audition looking at the actror's resume.  It's rude.

5.  You should rise when the person enters and again when they leave unless you are aged, infirm or car sick.

6.  Thanks the actor courteously but do not give false hope.

7.  If you have a ten- or fifteen-minute schedule per actor stay on it.  If you're behind, catch up.  Don't keep people waiting for long periods.

8.  Always introduce the actor to the reader, if there is one.

9.  Keep the audition table neat and clear of doughnut wrappers, half-eaten apples, and used tissues.  You are inviting these actors to your temporary home.

10.  Courtesy and warmth cost you nothing.


okay, one more thought... auditioning actors is a skill - one that is'nt really taught.  I have experienced far too many auditors who, lacking any codified auditing process (clarity about their role or what they are looking for) who quickly fall back to identifying the negatives.  It is safe, easy... and beneath us as collaborative artists (wagging finger disapprovingly).

I'm sure I have violated a number of the things I've just written about, so... actors please feel free to curse me all you want.  Just don't skip my next audition.  I'm hoping and praying that you are the piece of the puzzle that's gonna make (insert project title here) sail.

Cheers.

And another thing...

[Keith Dahlgren]

Mark, for what it's worth, you sold me.  I'm buying Mr. Jory's book, next time I have any money.  I sat in on a seminar he taught for TPS a couple years ago and was enthralled.  Made me want to go back and get a real MFA at the U...except they wouldn't take me.  At least, they wouldn't when I was thirty five. Perhaps I'm too old.  Or I suck. Yeah, that's more likely, but I'm sticking with the too old thing.

Anyway, THAT's what I'm talkin' about. Both sides of the equation. I would rather at least LOOK for the pearl in the manure pile. Thanks for saying what I couldn't verbalize...as an auditor, I am the actor's advocate.  I'm looking for what I want, not what I don't want.

And yes, Karen...I hope you don't think for a minute that I disapprove of posting the comments made by the auditors...how else are we gonna learn, we actors? I just was a little miffed by the whole sniping tone to many of the comments...sounded like a clique of high school girls commenting on some of their peers.

Doncha just hate when they do that, Machelle? Look down at your resume or their notes or the copy the whole time?  Hello!? I'm right here?  If you've written me off, could you at least be polite about it?

Okay, now I'm sounding like a Heather.  I'll shut up.

[Theatre Puget Sound]

Hmmm -
Mark - all you say is wonderful and well and good but does have slightly different application in the environment of a large general audition.

"Doncha just hate when they do that, Machelle? Look down at your resume or their
notes or the copy the whole time?  Hello!? I'm right here?  If you've written me
off, could you at least be polite about it?"

Why on earch are you assuming that just because they are looking at your resume that they have 'written you off'? Frankly - I'd think quite the contrary. They are doing any number of things:
 - trying to get a sense of past experience quickly while listening
- checking quickly to see WHO you have worked with
- making a quick note so as to remember you better...

Rude would be obviously throwing your resume on the floor in the 'return' pile 10 seconds in to your piece.

Look - these auditors are the most supportive and polite group of folks I have ever witnessed sitting through 100 actors a day. I gave them an anonymous survey so that a useful dialogue could take place - and I think it is... perception is owned by the perceiver... meaning, please move past the 'tone' as that is perception and all yours - not theirs. Glean what is useful and move on - which I think you and others are trying to do. Reacting to perceived 'tone' in an anonymous short phrase/response survey is not useful.

A little more worked up but still humble - Karen